things after the rings

my life as a twenty-something newlywed

Jul 25

pots and pans

we got this gorgeous set of pots and pans for our wedding that we are just now starting to use (figured it didn’t make sense to open them before the move).  

aren’t they beautiful?  i want to keep them that way.  i told mike that we must read the manual closely so that we know exactly how to care for them.  and mike did!  ah! what a dream!

here are some things we must remember:

  • do not use pam or other aerosol cooking spray.  this is particularly important for mike because he is obsessed with pam, always asking me “did you spray the pan??” but, the user’s guide says that the sprays contain an ingredient that is hard to remove and i don’t want any gunk on my pretty pans.
  • let the pan cool before you clean it.  uh, yeah, sure i’ll happily do that!  but it says that food releases more easily from a cooled pan and adding cold water may cause the pan to warp. 
  • do not use abrasive cleaners or cleaning pads.  i doubt that dawn counts as abrasive, right? i mean, it seems to be ok so far.  i did notice that the green part on the top of our sponge was scratching the pan a bit. we’ll use a washcloth from now on.  the user’s guide suggests bon ami cleaner, which i totally stumbled upon in target this weekend. 
  • don’t stack them on top of each other or they will scratch.

[bon ami all-purpose cleaner was touted as a “glam green product for on (or under) your sink” in the august issue of SELF.  oh, and it’s super cheap.  win-win.]

Jul 21

don’t leave laundry in dryer overnight.

this morning i woke up about 6:30.  mike was already at the gym and due back soon and i like to get out of bed before he gets back.  i head downstairs to get the sheets and towels i left in the dryer overnight. about 7 minutes later, i pull two heaping baskets of laundry out of the elevator one at a time and set them in front of the door.  the washington post is gone, mike must be home.  i go to open the door and it’s locked.  ugh! i knock lightly on the door for a bit.  no answer.  he probably can’t hear me, must be in the shower, and i don’t want to knock much louder and disturb the neighbors. though trust me, i wanted to bang my fist against the door until mike answered. but i realize that this can be a source of frustration and anger or a funny anecdote that we can share a laugh over.  i’ll choose the laugh.  so i start to fold the laundry, giving a light tap on the door every two towels or so.  no answer.  i continue to fold the laundry in the hot, humid hallway. i hear the ironing board open inside (mike irons his clothes every morning) and know that he’s definitely inside and out of the shower.  he still doesn’t hear me knock.  i’m just laughing to myself.  the laundry is folded nicely in the two baskets, ready to be put away.  and i’m still in the hall.  i decide to sit down.  if i continue to stand and pace and look around, i will get annoyed. so i sit down and relax. i see the neighbor’s newspaper and consider picking it up to read but don’t. i figure that worse come to worse, mike will see me when he leaves for work at 7:15. then i hear silverware clanking inside the apartment.  i imagine mike making an egg sandwich and sitting down with the paper in front of the tv.  then i realize that since we moved, mike doesn’t leave til 7:45! and then i realize that if i can hear the ironing board and the silverware drawer from out here, he must be able to hear me knock.  so i knock again.  the door opens and i look up at mike in the doorway.  he looks down at me and says, in all seriousness, “what are you doing, lover?” 

we share a laugh over the fact that he locked me out and i’d been sitting in the hallway for about 20 minutes.  and i’m glad that i chose to see this as a lighthearted mishap and not an infuriating oversight.

Jul 19

name change checklist

if you think you go to the social security office to change your name and it’s done in one fell swoop, i’ve got some news for you.  this is a multi-step process.  i mean, think of all the things that use your name.  of course, you can pay to have your name changed in all of the important places but i have other things i’d like to spend $35 on: a pedicure, dinner out with a friend, a negligee to wear for my new husband, or a replacement hub cap. so if you’re like me and want to have-at the name-changing game all by yourself here’s what you’ll to change and my status on each:

  •  social security card 
  • passport. i think i might be lazy on this one and change it just before i need it.
  • driver’s license
  • employer (W-4, email, business cards).  i opted to just change the “from” in my work email address and keep my old business cards.  i felt bad throwing out a whole box of business cards.  my contact info is still the same so the person can find me if they need me.
  • bank still waiting on my new debit cards though.
  • credit cards.  should i be surprised that this one is the biggest pain?
  • health insurance (if it’s not taken care of by your employer)
  • retirement account (if it’s not taken care of by your employer)
  • car insurance
  • utilities ok, we may have just moved into a building where utilities are included so maybe i cheated a bit to cross this one off 
  • magazine subscriptions

what about online shopping sites? and groupon, livingsocial?  i’d also like my name changed on so that our restaurant reservations are in my married name.

anything i forgot?

Jul 18

i love the mailman.

i just walked by the mailman on my way home and i wanted to stop and say to him “do you know how happy you make people?”  i’ve had this thought and almost stopped a mailman on multiple occassions. i rarely get anything in the mail aside from fliers and bills, but the chance that i could get something brings me such joy and excitement. it makes me sad to think that the postal service could drop saturday service.  one less day to check the mail?! no! 

i also love sending mail though i often wonder if i’m wasting money when i drop a birthday card in the mail.  they usually don’t say anything profound and most likely the recipient will throw it in the trash within a week. the image of the envelope and card going right in the trash is one i have to ignore.  (and one that i had to put out of my head again and again when designing our wedding invitations.) but i tell myself that maybe the recipient loves getting mail as much as i do and the opportunity to make someone feel special is worth $5. 

do you have a love of mail like i do?

Jul 13
  • great convo from how i met your mother.
  • marshall: i don't care if the dishes aren't done. if you care, you do it.
  • lily: great, then i don't care if you have an orgasm. if you care, you do it.

Jul 10

as i was packing up things to go to the dry cleaner, i came across mike’s wedding suit. i noticed the jacket by the striped fabric on the inside of the sleeves. i picked it up like it was a childhood blanket, one that brings comfort and security and a twinge of sadness all at the same time. i smelled it, not knowing what smells would still be lingering, not sure what smells i even associate with our wedding day.  it didn’t smell like anything.  just a suit. and still, it brought tears to my eyes.  still is.

i can’t articulate why it’s calling up this emotion.  just nostalgia for the day i guess. i remember how confident he was trying on the suit just days before the wedding, how proud he was of his choice in attire, and how handsome he looked waiting for me at the end of the aisle. this suit takes me back to all of it.


the suit.

(via amanda kraft)

best bus ride ever

mike and i jumped on the bus after running some errands yesterday.  little did we know this would be an amazing ride. what’s wrong with this picture?

bus 1

don’t see it?

see the arrow in the picture below?

yeah.  that’s a lamp, not a pole. during the course of our ride we saw about 10 people reach for the lamp thinking it was part of the bus.  they were so startled when the “pole” moved as they grabbed it. this. was. hilarious.  my stomach hurt from laughing so hard.  pretty soon, most other riders realized that this was happening and everyone watched in anticipation as the next slew of riders made their way onto the bus.  at one point, someone started singing “another one bites the dust.”

oh, and see the guy standing right behind the lamp?  yeah, he was doing pull-ups at one point.

good. ride. 

Jul 8

do you hope that when you get married your man will stop leaving the toilet seat up? don’t.  he won’t.  you’ll be let down.

i’ve written about what i’ll call mike’s parents to other people.  but how do i address them to their faces?  since we started dating in high school, i called them mr. and mrs. _____ for years.  then in college i worked with mike’s mom and started to call her by her first name.  i never stopped.  but i continued to call his dad mr. ______.  then a few summers ago we went on vacation with them for a week and they told me and mike’s brother’s girlfriend to call them both by their first names.  so i started calling his dad by his first name half of the time and mr. the other half…or i just wouldn’t call him. 

now that we’re married, what do i call them?  at first i figured i’d call them by their first names still as i felt like i’d be betraying my own parents if i called someone else mom and dad.  but now i’m having a change of heart:

1) mike’s dad ended an email to me with “dad” and you call someone by how they sign their name (note: i didn’t give an intro in my email, just started the message) (another note: in a later email, he signed it with his first name…)

2) if i asked my parents, at least my mom, i think they’d say i should call them mom and dad and would want mike to call them mom and dad (that’s what they called my grandparents) 

so we’ll see.  i think i just won’t address them for a bit.

Jul 7

i officially changed my name last week. tears welled up in my eyes as i handed over the form, our marriage license, and my passport. as i sat down to wait for my paperwork to be processed, i cried quietly in my chair. this is not surprising for me because all endings make me cry: co-workers leaving, moving to a new apartment, the end of a weekend at home.  a friend/co-worker knew where i was and walked by the social security office at the just the right time.  she came in and told me that yes, this is a big deal and it’s ok to be sad.  she gave me a hug and i sobbed into her arms and something about that moment felt so good. i was honoring my feelings.  honoring the name i carried all my life and the memories and people associated with it. and then i stopped.  because even though i changed my name, a name that is a big part of my identity and one that i cherish deeply, i was ok.  i had made the right decision.